Eccentricity is a wonderful thing
I’ve been thinking recently about the word eccentric. After a quick Google, I found that eccentric means ‘out of centre’ and was originally an astronomical word for orbits that are not perfectly circular. Over time, it has come to be used as an adjective to describe people who are a little different or odd or unconventional. I started wondering, if everyone was just themselves, wouldn’t the word eccentric become redundant? After all, we are all a little odd and, naturally, unique.
Taking photos of beautiful leaves? Guilty!
On a recent trip to Kaikōura, I was having dinner with a friend who is a plant specialist. I called her a nerd, in a celebratory way, and she pointed out that we are all nerds, really. Maybe you nerd out about Gucci handbags or Warhammer or plants, but there is always something. Add to that nerdiness all of the other little quirks and habits we all have, and it turns out, together we are a bunch of eccentric oddballs!
My particular flavours of eccentricity are being a wannabe biologist and excitingly uploading photos of lichens and plants to iNaturalist; religiously getting ready for bed at 8.30pm so I can have quality time with my books, cup of tea and blanket; collecting beautiful shells and stones and sea sponges; and refusing to have any ‘big’ lights on and living only in lamplight.
Look at that amazing lichen, so beautiful in the shadow and sun!
There are so many quotes out there about being yourself, because I think everyone just really, really wants to be themselves. I think that we, myself included, do spend time thinking maybe we should be more like somebody else and cover over our odd bits. But, if I think about it, I don’t really want to paper over my odd bits. I just want to relax into who I actually am.
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
In the past couple of years, I’ve definitely discovered and started to love who I really am (some bits are easier to embrace!). But the challenge once you’ve discovered that wonderful and imperfect ‘you’ wrapped under layers of dos and don’ts is to reveal yourself to the world. It’s scary showing the real you, because what if you do and you’re rejected? Obviously people are rejected and harmed for being themselves every day, so it’s not always simple to just ‘be yourself!', as we are often told. But in many cases and for many people, it is generally safe to be ourselves and the fear actually comes from within.
“We are here to fully introduce ourselves, to impose ourselves and ideas and thoughts and dreams onto the world, leaving it changed forever by who we are and what we bring forth from our depths. So we cannot contort ourselves to fit into the visible order. We must unleash ourselves and watch the world reorder itself in front of our eyes.”
Thinking we have to be like everybody else can be really harmful in that it creates expectations and standards that we think we all need to meet. For example, being a charismatic extrovert is a cultural ideal in many Western countries, but is not a characteristic that most people have. Embracing the fact that you want to be curled up with your cats under eight blankets with a stack of books and a direct line of tea to your veins is where it’s at. When we see people being unapologetically themselves, we love it and it gives us permission to do it too.
Here’s my cute niece rocking her multi-patterned, multi-coloured outfit, and having great fun with her bucket and spade. She’s not worrying whether she looks cool or not ‘cause the sand is just too fun!
Maybe we could just embrace ‘eccentric’ until it becomes totally redundant? 🤪
Little children are totally happy being themselves!